I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
His hands were made for my vagina.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
