so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
