I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just threw up on my dentist
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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