pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
