Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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