just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize