I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
