your thong is hanging out like whoa
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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