Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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