she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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