That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
