we have pet lesbian snakes
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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