why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize