You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Someone came in the potted fern
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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