haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
