Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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