Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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