I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
