Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
