remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
