Please, let me fuck your mom
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
