I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I need help removing her.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
