dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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