he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
