foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
