At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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