Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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