When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
