do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
