gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
