normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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