We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
