the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Randomize
