You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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