i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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