i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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