woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Randomize
