apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
