I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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