it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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