have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
