she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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