if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
sarcasm needs its own font
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
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