ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
