that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
