If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
