I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
