I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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