this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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