this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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