ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
They are going to name an STD after you.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
