her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
