hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
