She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
