This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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