he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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