I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
