I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
my shit smells like andre
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
