he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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