I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
